im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize