hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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