Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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