There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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