apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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