ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
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Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
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Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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