how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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