these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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