3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
please don't ironically join a cult
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