eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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