Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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