hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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