what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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