I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize