Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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