Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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