You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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