I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
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You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Shame - the story of my life.
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