Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize