pop tarts are not kleenex
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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