Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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