you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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