Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize