Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
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i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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