this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize