I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize