He disabled his match.com account in front of me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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