I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize