whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize