I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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