Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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