it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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