I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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