you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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