yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize