i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize