I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize