you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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