I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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