Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize