I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize