Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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