he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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