then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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