Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
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I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
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If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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