and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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