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awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
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