Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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