so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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