He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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